Multitasking

Time and time again I find myself with this feeling that there are all these people that expect so much from me, both socially and professionally, and I just say yes and yes and yes and then freak out, when probably a lot of those expectations were all in my head from the beginning.

Quitting School and Living in the Moment

Next Saturday I take off for Nova Scotia, where I will be music directing for a small children's music production. I still have a lot of music to learn, but I'm getting to a point where I at least know what songs to prioritize and that is really the most important thing anyway. Then I will drive back to Montreal with two close friends, stuck together on the bench of a U-Haul, get my braces tightened before I head to Toronto to catch my flight to Vancouver. There I will see some of my most favorite people, some of whom I have not seen in years, who I have no idea who they are anymore and who have no idea who I am, but who somehow we know we have lots to talk about still. David and I will be temporarily reunited, will pack up our bags with a few clothes, a tent, and some sleeping bags, and start thumbing it across the country. Oh glorious life.

I'm so much happier since I decided to quit school take some time off school. I feel like for years I've been focusing on the light at the end of the tunnel, pushing and pushing, keeping my eye on the goal, for better or for worse. I couldn't live in the moment because it was too painful. But then suddenly I met someone who was leaving and I didn't have the future anymore, only right now. And although I always kind of knew this was no way to be living, it kind of hit me hard then. And as I settled in to enjoying my life as it is now, the more obvious it became that I needed to make some changes if I really wanted to make the best of it. Now it feels like suddenly I've turned the light on and there was actually no tunnel at all, just a vast expanse of possibilities.

Breakdancing, Introversion

I started taking breakdancing again in January, and it's been awesome. A couple of weeks ago I started Break 2, right after finals and while I tried to find time to get my bike fixed. In other words, I was OUT. OF. SHAPE.

So after missing the first class (again, finals) I went last week, and they worked us pretty damn hard. Then I saw the boy right after.

Me: Oh man, break 2 is AWESOME!!
David: OMG, you're walking with a limp!

haha yeah. So um, methinks it might not be a bad idea to start doing some stretches/strength training every day from now on.

Also, I suck at relationships. I have just been alone too long I think. It's been years that I've been doing all of my favorite things alone, and now I find that relaxing and lets me really let go. Sure, once in awhile I'll invite a friend along, but to really let someone in? frig, it sounds dumb but I have no idea how. Maybe this is okay? though I suspect it's less fulfilling in the long run.