Multitasking

Time and time again I find myself with this feeling that there are all these people that expect so much from me, both socially and professionally, and I just say yes and yes and yes and then freak out, when probably a lot of those expectations were all in my head from the beginning.

Nova Scotia life

I'm in Nova Scotia, living a good life of music, theatre, friends, nature, family. In other words, there's pretty much everything I need to be happy here, though I do find myself missing the independence of living alone. Here are some photos of my recent adventures:

My first day here, Mom, Dad and I took the dog to Graves Island for a swim in the ocean.





The yard is very beautiful at this time of year.





Hiking with the dog near Castle Rock.





Canoing at Matt's Dad's place, there are baby ducks!



Life is quite lovely right now. Lots and lots of work to do though in between all the nature stuff though. Time to get practicing!

My hometown on a Tuesday night

Walking home in my hometown at 10pm, I'm taken aback by the sound of my own footsteps and breathing. I realize it's not the silence I'd missed so much as the quiet sounds I got used to not hearing.

Rainstorm

Sitting on the bus to Ottawa, listening to music while the people around me read or talk to friends, we drive through Ontario farmlands that stretch out for miles and as the light fades away a heavy mist starts to turn to rain. Suddenly the sky opens up, and fork lightning flashes ahead, and one by one we disengage - I take off my headphones and suddenly we are together in this small vehicle, sheltered and passing cars on the highway, the quiet murmur of people talking to one another and the rain pounding on us from overhead.

Quitting School and Living in the Moment

Next Saturday I take off for Nova Scotia, where I will be music directing for a small children's music production. I still have a lot of music to learn, but I'm getting to a point where I at least know what songs to prioritize and that is really the most important thing anyway. Then I will drive back to Montreal with two close friends, stuck together on the bench of a U-Haul, get my braces tightened before I head to Toronto to catch my flight to Vancouver. There I will see some of my most favorite people, some of whom I have not seen in years, who I have no idea who they are anymore and who have no idea who I am, but who somehow we know we have lots to talk about still. David and I will be temporarily reunited, will pack up our bags with a few clothes, a tent, and some sleeping bags, and start thumbing it across the country. Oh glorious life.

I'm so much happier since I decided to quit school take some time off school. I feel like for years I've been focusing on the light at the end of the tunnel, pushing and pushing, keeping my eye on the goal, for better or for worse. I couldn't live in the moment because it was too painful. But then suddenly I met someone who was leaving and I didn't have the future anymore, only right now. And although I always kind of knew this was no way to be living, it kind of hit me hard then. And as I settled in to enjoying my life as it is now, the more obvious it became that I needed to make some changes if I really wanted to make the best of it. Now it feels like suddenly I've turned the light on and there was actually no tunnel at all, just a vast expanse of possibilities.